It's September 11th, 2011, exactly 10 years from the fateful day when our country was changed forever. Everyone has something to say about it, updating statuses, blogs, etc. "We will always remember", "I remember I was..." fill in the blanks. So where was I when the news erupted with video of the horror, replaying over and over again, reporting on the chaos ensuing around the nation? The truth is, I don't actually know. I know I had just woken up and came downstairs as my mother was watching the footage over and over again. I know that the story was all anyone talked about for months, and even years after. I know that I was diagnosed exactly 3 months later (December 11). But othere than that, there's nothing. I can't remember anything from before about 12 years old. It's times like these when it's extremely hard because everyone else has some kind of connection to that day, to their past in general. And all I have is bits and pieces, like a skipping CD. All I really have is the present and the future. Of course there are some things more recent than that that I would like to forget, but there's so much that I wish I knew. I wish I could remember my 7th birthday, my 8th birthday, even my 9th birthday. I wish I knew how it felt when I came home from New York after my surgery. I wish that when people who used to know me asked if I remembered them, I didn't have to give a blank stare because there is no recollection whatsoever. It feels sometimes like I have no past. Where did I come from? Where did I start?
What does that leave me with? A whole lot of memories to be made. In 10 years, someone will ask me, where were you on the 10th anniversary of 9/11? And I'll say, I went to church and I stayed at home for the rest of the day. I watched the awful footage for the first time. They didn't realize when they asked what a loaded question it was. In 10 years, I'll have a family of my own, children (probably many) who most likely won't even know of what happened except for what they read in history books. 29. That's my goal.
It makes the future quite exciting. It's my story that I'm writing, but the first couple chapters were ripped out. And the rest is all mine for the taking, the planning, the starting, the experiencing. You've never thought of it that way, have you? No, of course not. Your CD starts at the first song. :)
