Hey. It's me. I was just taking a little trip down memory lane, listening to Gungor, while trying to suppress whatever twitching I can. I decided to read my old messages on facebook. These are incredibly old messages, dating all the way back to the summer before 9th grade. It's amazing how different I was. I found one that referred to my last grounding I ever had. I can't believe the way my mind worked, so eager for acceptance that I was ready to follow the wrong people down a dark road. I was so incredibly dizzied by myself and my own ego to the point that I was unaware of what was up and down. It's odd to think that I approved of myself. Even that the people around me approved of me. I've been viewing my 9th grade year as one of the best for so long, yet hidden in these messages were what was really going on behind the scenes.
I couldn't believe how whiny and self-pitying I was. Where I am now, looking back, I wish I could have embraced that time. Shortly after that my muscles started worsening and now I wish I could have clapped more, or anything, just to use what I had, but then lost. But, then, hind sight is 20/20. It's so easy to see what the right decision is after the mistake is. Now, all I pray is that I don't make some of those same mistakes again, and spare myself from certain mistakes that I will look at in 4 years, asking myself why. Fortunately, throughout that period of mistakes came one of the best thing that I've ever chosen. I started going to my new church almost 3 years ago. I was a sophomore, and while I was actually forced to leave the church I had known for about 7 years, I soon after learned it was so much better for me. And, while I hate the way it happened, I'm so glad to be where I am. Thank You, God for showing me the life that You wanted for me!
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