Updates! I went to school today for a meeting. And, by school, I mean college. We haven't started yet and won't for another two weeks (and, trust me, I will update you whenever that ship comes along). But, today, I went in for a meeting with the accommodations office. This is mostly because of physical limitations which could cause some pretty interesting situations. Also because of my ever present memory loss. The crazy thing about my memory is that I just found out recently that I have memory loss. I can't believe that for the last, oh, 9 years I've been going around unaware that I couldn't remember things and that was an issue. The thing is, I knew I couldn't remember anything from before the tumor, but I always thought it was normal; that everyone couldn't remember their childhood. Probably mostly because anytime I would mention not remembering, someone would pull the whole "I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday" routine and it would make complete sense.
Anyway, college. It's amazing. I remember just waiting and hoping for the day that I would be able to go to college, to do what I wanted to do, and be out of a regular school building all day. Now it's here and I still feel slightly unprepared. Don't we always on that first day of school?
One teacher I had about 4 years ago was so nervous for her first day of school the year after I had been in her class. It was a crazy thought, because I had never really considered teachers to be the type to be afraid of students. But the fear was justified. Young high schoolers can be insane. I know because I was insane with them. I loved that year. It seemed like nothing ever really went wrong. Well, not really, anyway. There were the times that I didn't break at debate tournaments, or the time I almost got stepped on when I was sleeping on the floor in the cafeteria of Lees Summit West High School. It's really the only place to sleep at debate tournaments, and when you get home at midnight and have to be at your high school at 6 in order to debate at 8, you sleep whenever you can.
The point is, whenever that teacher was able to grab onto some sort of familiarity (namely me), it was priceless. Because that's what we crave. Like children, we all long for consistency, a familiar way of life. We know the rules of the game, we know how to "get out of jail free" and we try our hardest to pass go and collect $200. But then, after round 1, the game changes. We have to figure everything out again only to move a couple spaces at a time. Inching slowly, we can establish our surroundings; what's going to happen, what needs to happen, and most of all, how we react to day to day life. Believe it or not, round 2 tends to be what trips me up. The transition may be a little rocky at first, but I know from experience that if you keep rolling the dice, at some point you can get to pass go. Your reward is for your perserverance. It's for every goal that you set out to achieve, and when you achieve it, the sweet taste of victory is so gratifying, much like that $200 from round 1.
So, here I go into an unknown territory with every intention of skipping past the mouse traps, skipped turns and the stalking chutes. And, frankly, the chance of achieving what I set out to do is all the adrenaline I need. So, 2 spaces forward and...
BINGO!!
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